It might surprise some, although definitely not others, to find out that sometimes I can be very stubborn. As always, that character trait can be a mixed blessing. It is one of those slightly more hidden traits, so it is the people closest to me that are most aware of it – especially as I am most likely to be stubborn about putting myself first.

New Year comes with many traditions. Making New Year Resolutions and setting goals is intrinsically part of many people’s New Year narrative. I have made resolutions in past years. I convinced myself that I was avoiding the trap of being doomed to failure by making them gentle and limited in their demands. Of course, this means that they had very little impact on my life.

I feel that something has changed this year. As part of my work, I have completed coaching training. Pre-training, I was very unconvinced about any of the life coach spiel of some. Now I properly understand the possibilities and limitations of the process. The process of working out goals and steps is a powerful creator of opportunity. One of the vital components is identifying your level of commitment to the goal and what it would take to raise that level.

This year, I have used the process on myself. My goals this year are both more realistic and are still challenging. I am also very clear about how important each one is to me, and why I want to achieve them. They are no longer dreamy clouds of wishes, they are parts of the real structures I am building in my life.

Here are some of them:

Write more! Since starting this blog, I have achieved a Sinful Sunday post for every week. My writing posts are much more sporadic. In 2016, I will post at least 24 writing posts including some Wicked Wednesday, Kink of the Week and other pieces. This post counts as my first one. If I feel really ambitious, I will submit to at least one call.

Draw more! In 2015, I finally picked up both my drawing pencils and paints again. I am still riding the energising thrill of one picture that I drew for a very special blogger. I have one planned for another that I will draw as soon as I have a child-free opportunity. I want to draw more. I want to paint more. I want to explore both these facets of my creativity. In 2016, I will clear time at least once a month for art.

Make more! This one is very specific. I am going to be developing my whip, flogger and other hitty thing creations and setting up a website. Hopefully, people will want to commission my beautiful creations. Tied into the making, I also need to be less reserved and get much more brazen with self-promotion. I will have different products ready for pimping by the end of February.

Move more! I have health problems that make some exercise difficult. This year, I am being realistic about what I can do, instead of resenting what I can’t. I am building more activity into my week to combat the lack of movement in the office. I have my Fitbit targets and tracking to give me proper information. I will reach my personal weekly targets and I will celebrate what my body can do.

Guilt less! My life is jam packed with responsibility. I take every one of my responsibilities very seriously – all except one. That one is to nurture myself. I still struggle to take time for myself as that feels as though I am taking time away from others. I have to be on call to my children at all times, especially my eldest. There have been times where crises have happened while I am not there and I have been mitigating them by phone. It scars my heart when that happens. I feel selfish for not having been there, particularly as I wasn’t there because I was away for fun. This year, I am challenging my own twisted interpretation of these events. Being contactable and committed to dropping everything if needed is not abandoning my responsibilities. It is not being selfish and neglecting the needs of others. It is having a balance and looking after myself as well as others. I will challenge those thought patterns this year.

Kink more! Actually, I don’t necessarily mean kink more. I mean that I will be more open about my kinks and drop a bit of my British reserve. I have a lot of joy from my kinks and there is no reason why I should keep them shyly tucked away. This year, I will be more open about them in conversation and in writing. I will express all of who I am when I want to, rather than the carefully chosen acceptable and unchallenging parts.

So, here we are at the beginning of the year. I don’t know what 2016 will bring, but I do know some of what I will bring to it.

Happy New Year Everyone!

12 Replies to “A look inside and a look ahead.”

  1. I love all the goals you have set for yourself. They seem very realistic and I can imagine how happy you will be when you look back one year from now and see you have managed to do all of it!

    And of course, yay for more Wicked Wednesday writing 🙂
    No, YAY for more writing! So happy you’re going to do it!

    Rebel xox

  2. I really look forward to seeing the ‘make more’ goals come to life. I am excited about what else you might be making

    Happy New year

    Mollyxxx

  3. Just remember that any process or change is better when you start slow with small steps. It will make progress easier and any chance of failure or disappointment remote.

    I applaude you on your goals and look forward to celebrating with you as you achieve your desired results.

  4. Those are fantastic goals, both because of what they are what are and what they’ll add to your life! I set a writing goal one month last year and it was great. It pushed me finish writing rather than leaving posts languishing in my drafts folder. Good luck! I look forward to following your progress! xx

  5. Wow Honey, we are totally on the same wavelength in our new years plans! I admire your courage in committing to specific timetables. I can’t wait to read and see your new work and please count me in for one of your hand made implements once your sales site is up. xoxo

  6. I can hear your positive energy in this & it lifts me up. Thank you! A few years ago I learned about the wonderful “More/Less” goal-setting technique when I took a journalling course from a bright light named Karen Walrond (http://www.chookooloonks.com). She started me on my addiction to Moleskine journals (you know you can watercolor right in the books!? 🙂 so great!)

    Anyway, your goals are fabulous. A strong way to start the new year mindfully. You’re inspiring me. <3

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