HappyComeLucky

Romance? This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is romance. Cue lovely music, roses etc etc.

I don’t think many people will be surprised to know that I don’t ‘do’ romance. At least, I don’t do what others would stereotype as romantic. I was so busy having a tough and invulnerable shell that I don’t even know what would have happened if someone had tried to romance me. I think I would have had the instant reaction to be very untrusting towards them. That might not have been fair on them, but I had, and still have, a very strong reaction to anything that makes me think that someone sees me as weak. For years, I have included any hint of being girly or feminine in that. 

As a teen, I appreciated thoughtfulness and that was probably the closest I got to romance. It was a slight surprise to me that a friend laughed at and despaired of me when I described something happening to me as romantic. Apparently, the co-worker’s thoughtfulness in putting coats on the boiler room floor and making sure he had a fresh pack of condoms before he asked me if I was up for a quickie during a tea break wasn’t romantic in her book.

Things have changed since then. I do still have a huge issue with being perceived as vulnerable and that does impact on my resistance to classic romantic gestures. I do, however have a romantic and thoughtful relationship. Other people might not recognise the gestures but they are amazingly thoughtful and in my eyes romantic. 

The times when my man drives well over two hours to pick me up at the crack of dawn to grab a quick breakfast before I go to work. The times he buys me new socks because he knows I still haven’t got round to it because I prioritise everyone else first. The times that he reads to me over the phone before I go to sleep. The way he always holds my hand when we get the chance. The way he gives me tools because he knows I love them. The way he sends me links to clips of beautiful moving machinery because he knows that is like porn to me. The way that, if I am restless in the night, he automatically gathers me into his arms. There are so many ways that his thoughtfulness softens my tough shell and makes my heart glow. 

There are times that I struggle with not being as tough as I used to be. Having a softer shell means that I feel so much more than I used to, but I wouldn’t give that up for a second. I guess my man has romanced his way right into my heart and has thoroughly softened my shell.

Who else is sharing for Wicked Wednesday? Click and see.