Why do I blog? Over the last year, I have been undecided about what to do about blogging. I love my blog and I love the outlet that it gives me. However, not everything is rosey when it comes to my blogging life.
I keep glaring at the world in frustration about how unsuccessful my blog is and at myself in an equal measure of the same emotion. My stats are tiny. So much so that everytime someone tweets about their own ones, I feel as if I should just back away quietly. That pushes my buttons and takes me right back to when we moved across the country aged 12 and I was never fully accepted into the dynamics of the tiny secondary school. I always joined in but always felt that I was a shadow rather than a whole. I was always, even four years later, the new girl who was allowed to join in but wasn’t a real part of the group. It was exhausting trying to stay visible enough to be included and not forgotten. It was so tempting to just stop and know that the invitations to join in wouldn’t come.
As there is no way that I can describe the number of visitors as a marker of a successful blog, why do I do it? Why do I invest time, money and parts of my soul in it?
There are a lot of reasons. I currently rarely write but having a space for when I want to is really important. I am not the type of person who will put something forward to be on someone else’s blog. I want to get back into writing more but I need to coax my voice back after losing it to grief, mental health and time demands. If I close my blog, my voice is in the wilderness.
The same is kind of true for my pictures. I consistently post for Sinful Sunday and I know that I have to keep that commitment up. I’ve only missed one since I started. I love the combination of inspiration, planning and occasional desperation that results in an amazing range of images. I love the feedback on them – not because I crave the praise or attention but because it forces me to believe that I am seen. Without the camera, I don’t look at myself. Without the camera, I don’t see me. Without the camera, I exist but I forget that there is a body and soul that both combine to be me.
So, why do I blog? I think that writing this post has helped me to realise that my blog is a powerful space for me to look and see a true reflection of me.
Why do I blog? It’s so much more than just boobs and bums.
Just as you are so much more than boobs and bum(s). 🙂
I could have written this a few years ago. Viewership is nice and it is gratifying when someone reads what came from those deepest parts of us and them offers a brief thought in response. The dialogue that can commence from that contact can be rewarding. A caveat (caution, really) is that we begin to write (perform) for others as we bend to the desires of increased comments and reader feedback.
Your blog is a part of YOU. You are not unseen in this space and I believe that the same applies to your surrounding world, there. You are a beautiful soul and are far more than your photographic glimpses that you share, here (which are beautiful, by the way).
If this blog and your posts help you, keep doing what you are doing! I enjoy your posts!
XOXO
Melinda
Oh my, I love your blog!
I have the same questions about my own blogging – my stats are absolutely pitiful! But, in a way, that gives me more freedom – I’m letting go a bit more and writing waaaay more personally than when I was striving for those all important hits (which never came…). sometimes companies ask if I want to be an affiliate and I’m like, duuuuuude, really? 😀 😀
Hope you keep on keepin on!
Thank you so much. I adore you so much so it thrills me to know that you love my blog.
I might not comment on blogs much but what you say is important and people listen. More importantly, as you say, it’s a space and an outlet for you. Don’t feel the pressure of stats (says she, ha!), but you do you. That’s what matters.
Thank you, gorgeous.
First I want to say that there is no way I can imagine your blog not being here to read. I love your words, your pics!
As for stats, I am content with mine, but they are definitely nowhere as high as I hear that of others are. Sometimes I wonder what I am doing ‘wrong’ and then I remember, my blog is mine and I am doing it because it’s my space, it’s something I love to do and I am happy with every hit I get. To be honest, I maybe look at my hits once every other week or so?
Just keep on doing what you do, lovely, and when you have something to say, you have your space here to say it. And, you will heal and will eventually be able to write more again… and I look forward to that!
Rebel xox
I haven’t really explored your blog, but I will as what I’ve read so far is great. Certainly don’t stop.
At one point I did wonder if you were describing me as I read this. I too had the childhood move that left me as a social chameleon – always the stranger, able to change camouflage to be a part of any group at school, but never invited to be a core of any group.
My own blog makes me feel a fraud at times, low volumes and only loosely related to sex that I really don’t feel I should be considered part of the sex blogger community, even when some of the lovely people within that community are so encouraging.
Yet, I’m determined to have my voice. The beauty of having a blog is that you don’t need to be held up to other people’s standards – despite the temptation to do so. Having somewhere to say to the world, even if the world isn’t particularly listening, ‘this is me’. ‘This is how I feel’. ‘This is what I’m raging at’.
For all those reasons and more I do hope you keep the blog open, no matter what the update frequency.
Take care and I hope to read more.
Thank you and I hope to read more from you too.
I know what it is to move from school to school. Very difficult. I even went to a school in Wales for just two weeks.
It sounds to me that your blog is very good for your well being so please carry on.I know that i always enjoy reading it.
Thank you. I plan to keep going for now.
Like Marie said I can’t imagine your blog not being here and I certainly can’t imagine Sinful Sunday without being part of it. I think the most important thing is for you to do it for yourself. The rest is just nice toppings but if it is a positive place for you then that is really all that matters
Mollyx
Thank you, lovely.
You are so much more. We are here in the darkness listening.so keep blogin😺