A childhood of not having a voice. An adulthood of making sure that others are heard. I’m tired and damaged by those who I believed in, only for them to hurt me deep in my core.

I’m angry with the universe. I kept my side of the deal throughout, and it repays me with pain and harm.

I want to talk. I want to be heard. I want to be understood.

I want to be.

Every now and then, I feel glimpses of who I can be. Then it gets drowned again in the reality of people who use me and hurt me. Those who discard me. Those who let me be generous, kind, vivacious, and giving and then shut the door when they show their true colours.

Right now, I hate this world. I hate that my life is changing for the worse. My body is aching and breaking, and I think it is soon to be too late.

I never asked for much.  I  have learnt to be quiet.  I will fade away so as to not be a nuisance. Back to the silence and quiet from where I came.

5 Replies to “Pain”

  1. Please do not fade away … I always love your photos, and certainly hearing of your most recent enjoyable, and impactful, postings. They always make me tingle.

    Xxx – K

  2. I’m sorry you are hurting like this and keep being silenced. I hope that this is a dark forest part of your journey and that you will emerge into a bright clearing where you will be seen and heard.

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