I am a submissive and I spend some of my time in a submissive headspace. I don’t always know whether the term submissive is the correct one for me. I am always a masochist but my submissive nature fluctuates and there are times when I am far more primal than submissive.
Despite not always being in a submissive headspace, I do seem to be able to always find myself in subspace when I am with someone that I can utterly trust and give in to purely riding the sensations rather than monitoring the situation.
The things that take me into subspace are sensations. By sensations, I do mean pain – except that it doesn’t feel as though it hurts. The right sensations flood through me like energy, surging through me and triggering responses that become stronger and stronger. The right sensations build layer after layer of response taking me further every time. I can get high on impact play. I love the battle, the relaxation, the floating, the giggling, the swearing and the aching. It’s amazing. It gets me so happily high but not quite all the way to subspace.
Layered, long pain is what puts me there. Breast torture, nipple torture or pressure point pain allows that wave to build in energy, taking me higher each time. Those waves of pain make my brain float and my whole body respond building with pleasure until turning the level up one more notch makes a whole body orgasm roll through me. Once there, I search for more pain. Things that normally make me preemptively and protectively flinch away suddenly feel heavenly and I want more and more of them. Once there, I am both completely connected to him and floating free. I can only do this with someone I utterly trust, as I can hardly speak.
Being in subspace is a beautiful thing. I am hyper sensitive and responsive to touch and a gentle finger trailed over my skin can make my whole body shiver. At the same time, I need deeper, more thudding pleasure. Each spank or hit needs to thud through my form, each blow bringing the next orgasm closer. My direct connection from breast to cunt is even stronger. Spanking and squeezing those until I gasp will make orgasm after orgasm pour through my body without me being able to control when to let go.
Eventually, exhaustion will force me to beg for mercy. My body will still tremble with aftershocks while I curl in those safe arms, slowly, gently returning to me, still high on the euphoria but no longer floating free.
I don’t know if other people experience subspace in the same way as me. I know that it is a wonderful, powerful experience that I went most of my life not knowing about. I know that I am very lucky that I can soar high on endorphins and ride those waves of deep, all consuming pleasure; driven by sensations beyond all sense and reason to a purity of being.
I also know that I am lucky that I have the right person to hold me tight and keep me safe throughout and after each and every time.