HappyComeLucky

So, here we are. My second blogging anniversary. When I started I had no idea how this blog would go and whether it would work for me. Clearly, as I am still here two years later, it works for me.

To mark the occasion, I asked for questions. I am going to answer most of those questions here. There is one question that I am keeping for a separate post that will appear soon.

I have grouped some similar or connected questions together.

So, here we go.

Why did you start your blog? Are you glad you started the blog?

I started the blog because I found it really rewarding and very good for me to share pictures of myself. I have written about it here. I set up the blog to give me a space for my pictures and an opportunity to join in Sinful Sunday. I had been following Sinful Sunday for a few weeks and decided that my desire to get in on the action was stronger than my fear that blogging wasn’t for me. I am extremely happy that I started the blog. It has allowed me to explore and express parts of me that would be hidden otherwise. It has also been a huge part of becoming a member of the wonderful community of sex bloggers and readers both by visiting blogs and on twitter.

If starting again what would you have done differently?

I found this question quite tricky to answer. My instinct was to say that I would research how to blog and learn more of the skills and technical side of it before starting. In reality, if I had taken time to do that, I think that I would have procrastinated until the moment had passed and my blog wouldn’t exist.

What do you wish you hadn’t done?

I can honestly say that I have no regrets over this blog. There are a few posts that I wish I had found time to write but I won’t beat myself up for that. This blog is a truthful, if carefully cropped, picture of me. As it is so honest, there are no regrets.

What advice would you give on someone starting a blog?

My advice would be to GO FOR IT! My only real add ons to that are two fold. First, decide how much you want to show and if you are going to change your boundaries on that, leave it a day before you post. There are times that it is easy to get seduced into the excitement of posting and pushing your own limits. Once pictures – and I am thinking about face pics in my case – are out there, the genie is out of the bottle. The other piece of advice is to visit other people’s blogs and comment, comment, comment. The community thrives on communication and commenting is one important way to  grow.

How do you feel it’s changed in 2 years?

This blog has changed a lot over two years. I think it has developed over that time. It started as only photo posts, and although that is still the main focus, it has more and more personal writing, a tiny bit of fiction and the occasional opinion piece too. I am much more confident in my ownership of this blog and that it is for whatever I want it.

Does your partner know about the blog? If your partner does know, does this change what you write about and how?

My man knows about this blog and has done from day one. He has starred in some of the pictures and has even once posted for me when my computer was being especially sadistic to me. If anything, my partner encourages me to be brave with my writing. There are some pieces that I would never have posted without checking it out with him first. He is a very rational and sensible man who always gives an objective view of my posts – especially the writing ones. If he didn’t know about it, I am not sure how confident I would be to write about my experiences with him. Knowing that he is happy gives me confidence.

In what ways has having a sex blog been a positive experience?

Having this sex blog is such a positive experience. It has fed new energy into my exploration of photographs of myself. It has allowed me to see my body as having aesthetic strengths instead of seeing the flaws. In addition to this, the pieces of writing have allowed me to explore ideas that have been bouncing around my head. Explaining them in writing has allowed me a much greater clarity of insight than I would have had otherwise. Another huge positive has been the feedback. The comments and responses have been very validating. It has made me feel that there are many more people that have experiences and ideas that resonate with me than I could have found without the blog.

What’s your biggest fear?

Hmmm… the things that freak me out no matter how frustrating I find it that I react that way are mice, rats and moths. All three of those are evil creatures and I will flinch, or plain run from them. Although I have a phobia of those, I wouldn’t describe them as my biggest fear. That would be for something awful to happen to my children or my man. I am very protective of them. I work  very hard at not being over-protective but damn, letting them explore the world is all kinds of terrifying.

If you had a long weekend to yourself…money no object…where would you go?

Gosh. The world is my oyster for this one. Hmmm… as someone who hasn’t really travelled, the list of possibilities for this is loooooooong. I think I am going to choose to go to Iceland. I would love to see the glaciers, geysers and all the amazing features of that land. If I can then have another wish after that, it would be to gather lots of people who I either haver met already, or it feels as though I know them from online into one place for an awesome weekend of fun.

Has your blog made you think differently about sex?

I have been thinking about this question for a long time. The answer is that I don’t know. During the time that I have been blogging, I have also explored my masochism more deeply. I have always been very open and open minded about sex, so I am not sure if this blog has made me think differently about sex. Reading other people’s blogs has given me different insights into the experiences of others. I think one change to my thoughts through this blog has been that I have realised how very lucky I am to be so sexual and orgasmic. That knowledge has somehow given me permission to revel in my sexuality so much more.

Do you think some people are destined to always be single?

My quick answer is no. Saying that, I do not believe that everyone has to have someone. It isn’t destiny. There are many different factors to finding someone who things work with that it is more surprising how many people are with partners than aren’t. It has to be the right time for both people. You can meet someone who you would be a very good match with some circumstances mean that the time isn’t right. I have had a long marriage that is now over. It was not a mistake. It was right at the beginning but wrong at the end. I have learnt that keeping your own integrity is the most important factor in relationships. That is true of my relationship with myself as well as with others.

You have slowly been posting more pictures of your body – exposing a little more over time. What has given you the confidence to do this?

Initially, I didn’t post some pictures because I was making decisions about how far I was prepared to go. Although it may have been arguing semantics, while there were not any pictures of my genitals on here, I felt that there would be slightly different repercussions if I was recognised. I think that was a little naive self-delusion that sweetened the risk initially, especially before I was sure of the benefits of blogging to me. Since then, there is very little that I have kept hidden. Now my focus is on what is seen, rather than what I don’t want to be seen. There are a couple of posts that took more bravery to publish. There is definitely an element of my determination to challenge myself that led to posts like this.

What was your first ever sex toy? 

I am so boring and predictable when it comes to this. My first sex toy was a rabbit from a well known high street shop. I was so excited followed by being disappointed. Rabbits do not work for me. I love penetration but I find that trying to keep a rabbit in the right place for the ears to be any use so annoyingly frustrating. I like to be able to thrust my toys and be able to focus on hitting the right spots internally. Since then, I have found many toys that are much more suited to me. That first toy was so quickly abandoned that I didn’t ever exhaust the first set of batteries.

You mentioned on twitter that you are an anal slut… care to tell your readers more about that?

This question made me giggle. I should have guessed that it would be picked up on. I like anal play. I came to anal play relatively late. It was with a friend that I had my first experience. I guess the fact that it was so good the very first time without any preparation or gradual build up should have been a big clue as to how much I love it. The deep intensity of anal penetration takes me to a very wonderful place. During anal, it feels like the rest of the universe ceases to exist and all that I am is stimulated, responding and desperately needing every thrust. The orgasms that I have through anal are powerful and very deeply primal. I think that is it. I am quite a primal person, especially in my sexuality and anal taps very deeply into that.

Do you get sexually aroused when you write about sex?

I get very aroused when reading, but not really when writing. I think that I am still very aware of my shortcomings in writing. Trying to ‘get it right’ takes away from any arousal that I might feel. I do get aroused when planning my writing. That is the time that my mind can explore and my body responds. Once the writing starts, my focus changes.

There is one more question that is from Malin. That question is about the interrelationship between masochism and submission for me. That post will be coming soon.

I have to thank all of the people who sent in questions. I have really enjoyed answering them. I think I will have to do this again.

Happy Second Blogging Anniversary to ME!