I think I’ve always known that touch is important to me. Even as a young child, I would demand that family members would run their fingers up and down my spine making me dreamily happy with the sensations.

Since then, I have learnt that touch is my love language. There are lots of ways of connecting that are good for me but it is touch that I absolutely need.

It had taken a long time for me to understand how important touch is to me and how it nurtures me. I have, for a very long time, known that I thrive best when I have regular physical contact with others. I first recognised this when I knew that I would unravel a little if I went more than a few days without sex. Since the ending of my marriage, I have had to learn to manage that.

I occasionally get frustrated with how much I need touch. I pride myself in being self reliant but as time stretches in between dates, I get needier and I have to dip deeper into my resilience. I struggle with being that needy as I fear being too much. But, I do need touch and the moment that I am in the arms of a lover, all the tension from holding myself together drains away and I feel as though I return to being me.

I wonder if my deep need for touch is why I am so responsive. Several lovers have commented on how responsive I am. It is a powerful thing to have that feedback and has been affirming to me. It’s also helped to banish a nagging notion that I may be a joke or ridiculous. I also wonder if my deep cravings for sensory stimulation are why pain gives me so much pleasure. Intense sensations flood my body and mind with pleasure. I get sensation and stimulation drunk and lose myself in the physical connection.

One of the joys of being very physically responsive is that memories can trigger a strong sensation response. I sometimes think of these as after purrs. The way my body can respond to this also means that sometimes I can trick myself into responding as if I am being hugged even when my hugger is far too far away. Learning that I can do this has helped me to get by on the weeks when I don’t get to see anyone got the touch that I need.

Right now, I need physical connection and to give and receive in my love language.

Touch me

3 Replies to “Touch me”

  1. I completely agree with you about being responsive. I did the love languages again recently and touch was my main thing too. It’s therefore inevitable that you’d be so responsive to the right touch. I hope you continue to find a way of managing the time between your meetings.
    Missy x

  2. Touch has always been very important to me, which probably is why I touch people when I talk to them, and I love to hug, and touch Master T several times during the day, and want to be touched by others too, and not always in a sexual way.
    Thanks for making me think about my own preferences regarding touch.

    Rebel xox

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