I am restless and feel caged. It makes me oscillate between prowling and curling up in spiky frustration. Being so contained makes me too vigilant, looking for threats, looking for danger and looking for any chink of an opening to be able to escape.
Like an only semi-tamed creature, I can be calmed only by those I trust and adore. My snarls turn to purrs and my prowling to contentment and safety.
This lock down is hitting me harder than the last one. Last time, it started with staying home which made that a place of safety, a refuge. This time, I have to go to my work place in a job which has changed so much and we all collapsing exhausted under the demands.
The juxtaposition of being having to give so much in all ways at work, including having to manage all the interactions with other very stressed people, and then being so removed from love and friendship and all the healing support when I return home is harsh. It makes me feel restless and caged. It makes me need people so much more. I’m exhausted in the evenings but that is when I’m most desperate for contact and least able to be exciting and engaging to drive it.
I am counting my blessings of the good things in my life, but I’m also recognising that right now, I am not alright.
I need some definite plans for reconnection even if the dates cannot be fixed. I need to be able to look at those points of future instead of prowling hoping for a glimpse of a chance.
I know that I will be OK. I just wish I could be OK now.
I hear you. I feel like this lockdown will leave people so rung out because it’s taking away the happy making things whilst leaving in the stress makers. I hope you find relief…we will get past this in time ❤
I just adore this image so much. I know its taken with hurt and frustration in mind but honestly it is so raw and so powerful, I am just drawn to how uttely beautiful it is x
I’m sure you will be ok … and your image is more than ok, it’s brilliant. Strong and powerful actually !!!
Xxx – K
Sending unfurling hugs and kisses.
Missy x
Massive hugs lovely. I feel similar about plans but also I don’t have the stress of having to go to a work place and I can’t imagine how challenging that must be right now.
As for plans… I look forward to making some with you and taking more pictures.
Molly
I think last time around we had the fear or the unknown and everyone being locked down. This time we’re expected to be in a workplace whilst not being able to see those we need to be with.
A Honey should not be locked up but should be free to run wild, unless that restraint is for playful purposes.
we are all in different places during these times both mentally and physically. sometimes there doesn’t seem to be an end coming but we must have hope knowing that this to will change for the better. Better days are coming soon to all. HUGs
Peace N Love
Seems it’s hitting hard. Earlier it felt okay because there was hope for a relatively quick fix, now not so much. Hang in there.