Thirty days of orgasm fun. What could be better? Well. Maybe thirty days of someone at my beck and call for all sorts of fun… but that’s not the point of this post. A few weeks ago, the gorgeous Tabitha Rayne launched the idea of #30daysorgasmfun on Twitter and on her blog. I was immediately interested. I was also immediately fascinated.
I was fascinated for several reasons. First was a personal one. During the first few hours after Tabitha’s post, I went through a range of thoughts and responses. First was excitement. Any reason to have a month-long festival of orgasmic pleasure must be jumped on when you are an avid wanker like me. Then, there was more than a moment where my mood flatlined. I was suddenly very aware that the last nine months have changed me in many ways. I might identify as an enthusiastic, opportunistic and skilful wanker but the reality is that my mojo has been dented, my situation has changed and my opportunities are rare. That was a hard thought to swallow (pun intended).
I’ve always been a wanker. I have always orgasmed. I have always orgasmed from a range of stimuli. In fact, the only stimulation that is particularly hard work for me to orgasm from is direct clitoral stimulation – yeah, I know. I’m a weirdo. I have written more about it here.
My orgasms are powerful. They come from very deep inside me. My go-to technique is to grind hard to the side of my clitoris, along the edge of the bony ridge. It’s hard to exactly describe, but the right pressure makes my g spot swell and that combined with all of my physical responses of tensing muscles takes me straight there. It’s a guaranteed orgasm and one that I can either push through very fast, or ride on the crest of for seemingly ages until I let it explode.
It’s weird that in coming to write this post, I am very aware that I rarely write about or talk about my orgasms. It’s a pretty much self-imposed gag due to being such a weirdo. I know some of you may glare at the screen at that, but that is how I have felt for years. I love my orgasms. I love my orgasmic body. I love the strength of my orgasms and the beautiful variety of stimulation that can cause them. I have procrastinated a lot about writing this post partly because of how easy and how varied my orgasms are. It was a line in The Other Livvy’s post that nudged me to stop avoiding this subject.
“As sadly seems to be the case with almost all aspects of female sexuality, however, there are enough women who are ashamed of their multiple orgasms, due to accusations of faking it or being shamed by their partners for being easy, that she wanted to give these women a talking point and let them know that they were ‘normal’ too.”
That hits the nail on the head. I still, despite all my stroppy resilience, have a fear of being accused of being a fake, of being a joke, or of boasting. I am very aware that I am fortunate that I don’t struggle to orgasm. I have previously been accused of lying for saying that I orgasm easily and, in my opinion, delightfully from penetration alone. Although people are used to the idea of someone who can orgasm from clitoral stimulation but who struggles with g-spot orgasms, I haven’t found an openness for the other way around. Don’t get me wrong, I can orgasm from clitoral stimulation but unless I am already very aroused, the sensation is tinny and feels as though it is very localised and only on the surface. My other orgasms, in contrast, are deeply internal and flood my body with a powerful rush.
So, getting back to the main point of this post, I decided that it was time to have a reflective and enthusiastic month of exploring, challenging and re-acquainting myself with my body and stimulating my orgasmic appetite.
The first few days were busy, so I, predictably, ground one, or two, or three, four or five out. Face down, arm under me, fingers pressing in just the right place. A combination of hastily devoured physical sensations, followed with hot and filthy thoughts for subsequent ones. It was wonderful to make sure that I took the space in my life to do these quick, almost violent on one day, wanks.
After the rush of those, I paused to think. I could power my way through the whole thirty days like this. It was tempting, but all that I would gain from it, would be the reassertion of prioritising orgasms in my hectic life. It felt a bit of a cop out to not try to experiment more and after a briefer than I would have liked conversation with @19syllables, I decided to challenge myself more. I bought a Ruby Glow – all of the descriptions sounded perfect for a grinder like me. I couldn’t wait to give it a go. I have to make a slight confession here. I can, and regularly do, orgasm without touching. I can get so worked up by erotica, by phone calls, by messaging etc, that I build that swelling arousal and through both mind and body, tip myself over the edge. I love that. It used to freak me out a bit, but in truth it is a delight. It also meant that my man and I were able to play with this capability and make me come on demand to a verbal instruction. So, why if I can do that, did I buy the Ruby Glow? I mentioned earlier that life hasn’t been kind to me. One aspect of that is my depression and anxiety is running wild. Anxiety had damaged the mindset I need to orgasm hands-free. I hoped that the Ruby Glow was just what I needed to help re-explore that. Guess what? It’s perfect. I can sit and focus on matters of the mind, while that delightful device thrums away, building and strengthening the sensations in my cunt, helping my body to get to the point where I tense, gasping before letting that orgasm rip through me.
I’m really thrilled that the #30daysorgasmfun was the prompt to re-awaken that part of me. I’ve had so much fun since then making train journeys more satisfying, waiting at red lights a pleasure and, one very slow moving queue a highlight.
The remaining days were a combination of face-down power wanks fuelled by filthy fantasies and mind-focussed no-touch orgasms. On a few days, life was busy, demanding and the wrong sort of exhausting. On those days, I didn’t do anything towards this project except make sure that I gave myself the permission to just not feel like doing it without any guilt attached. On other days I had the pleasure of both and on one day, when I had started with one sort and had regularly topped up during the day with others, I then spent an hour edging on that glorious Ruby Glow. My learning from that is to remember to have the towel closer at hand for when I release.
I tried not to go for more than three days with only power wanks. Towards the end of the 30 days, I managed to find enough time for a more extended playtime. This time, I focussed purely on my nipples. I adore nipple stimulation. It feels as though it supercharges me. I can orgasm from that moment that stimulation crosses to being breathtakingly intense or pinching pain. More gentle stimulation lets me build and ride a more gentle crest of arousal, ready to be tipped over the edge. It was on this day that I realised that there was still another favourite stimulation that I had been neglecting. I reached out and pulled Adam out of the drawer and when my body already felt as though it was thrumming with electricity, I pushed him deep into my cunt. The effect was immediate. I came ridiculously hard with an orgasm that rolled and rolled and rolled. When it finally subsided, I floated for ages on an absolute high before I was capable of anything else.
So, what have I learnt? I’ve re-acquainted myself with the pleasure of giving myself more time and attention. The power-wanks are awesome but when they become the only part of my diet, they lose some of their joy. They become the quick and reliable, rather than the filthy and hot. I occasionally need a kick up the backside, or a damn good pinch of my nipples to invest a bit more effort, thought and variety into my pleasure.
I’ve also learnt that even though the stresses of life change me, there is no reason to mourn things that can be re-visited. It might not be exactly as it used to be, but it can still be a part of me.
There is something else that I have learnt. I might be a weirdo with an unusual profile of what makes me orgasm and what works best for me, but my experiences are just as valid as the more talked about ones. I shouldn’t feel that I need to hide how I orgasm. My orgasms are ine and they are so much fun. I’m not your average wanker but I am a delighted-by-the-#30daysorgasmfun-wanker.
Who else has something for Wicked Wednesday? The prompt is long lost friends.