This is a bit of a WOW moment for me. This is my 300th post. It’s within a few days of my fourth blogging anniversary too. I didn’t have a long, or medium term plan when I started this blog. I just wanted a space to explore my exhibitionism mainly and to have a place to share some of my thoughts. Getting to 300 posts feels significant from such a humble beginning.
Recently, I have been pondering the purpose of this blog and whether it has a value to me even in the midst of stress and other demands. I confess that I have come close to stopping, especially when there are conversations around stats. My views are not huge and this year, they are lower than last. I have pondered whether that is a nudge towards closing it. I’m glad that I haven’t given in to that yet.
In celebration of reaching this landmark, I asked for feedback on favourite posts. I asked in an open tweet, and then, after a deafening silence, I approached people directly. I have been bowled over by both how happy people were to answer and the thoughtfulness and power of their responses.
This is going to be a long post because I want to do each choice justice.
So, first is the favourite post chosen by my man. He says,
“It’s a rare glimpse of you showing your assertive side in a picture, and the complex issues behind it make it even more of an insight into to who you are. It captures your relationship with your breasts, and lingerie, as well as you coming round to owning the power they have with other people. Plus, boobies!”
Next is the choice of @DomSigns. He said
“This speaks to me because of her journey from struggle to calm and in ways it mirrors my own path in finding the calm as the spanner. And of course, the lovely glow of your bottom.”
I’m going to put @mollysdailykiss‘s choice next. She nominated two posts. The first, Is it hate? Am I a fraud? because it is a powerful piece of writing and something many of us battle with. The second is the picure that Molly liked so much that she used in it in her Eroticon session on photography.
This next one was nominated by @watchingdistant. It’s another image where my bed is the back drop.
“So I love the image. The angle. The perspective. It could be first thing in the morning or last thing at night. It could be taken by a lover. Or a self portrait. You could be in an orgasmic haze as you described or just in need of coffee. It’s an invite and it triggers the voyeur in me. Seemingly simple but so not.”
@sub_bee chose a fun post for me. It made me smile to look back on it. After all, it contains Lego. That is always going to be sexy.
“I wasn’t going to pick an image post because I wanted your beautiful words to be what stands out but this one really called out to me. It shows your fun, inner child being released but you’ve combined it with your naughty side. I can’t stop smiling although I’m disappointed we didn’t get to see the finished model.”
I am completely bowled over by people’s responses to my request for this post. Next is one that I thought twice or rather many times about whether to share the original post. The feedback that I got from the lovely @tabitharayne made it very worthwhile.
“I choose your sounding post because it was educational, erotic and I thought the picture was utterly mesmerising. It was actually a challenging post for me and that’s one of the reasons I loved it so much.”
I’m lucky enough to live near to @exposing40. I’m sure that if I didn’t write this blog, I probably wouldn’t have met her. I’m very glad I have.
“I knew I didn’t want to choose a photo, not because I don’t think your photos related great and hot – I do! I wanted to choose a wordy one because your reflections are always so powerfully honest and thought-provoking and often moving. And also because I know you doubt yourself more on the words and I don’t think you should.
So this is the one I chose: My Unbreakable Bond.
I just think this is the most beautiful love letter to your children and it tells us so much about your heart and soul and what a beautiful committed loyal fierce woman you are.”
Reading these messages from people has been very humbling. The gorgeous @alittlespoonH chose a post which means a lot to me and to her. I still miss the wise and cheeky words of the man who sent me this card. @alittlespoonH says,
“You write with so much authenticity, I love reading your blogs whether they include wonderful powerful photos or wonderful powerful words (or both).”
I am very lucky to have been inspired by and to have inspired the wonderful @malinmjames both on this blog and in other ways. Malin chose two posts. I’m including her words for both here.
“Going through your work in one go made me appreciate afresh the depth of your perspective, honesty and compassion. No one writes like you do – refreshing and valuable and powerful.
The first one is My Decades. On the one hand, I very much appreciate it as a response to an article that I suspect would have annoyed me, as well, if only for its bid at generalized wisdom. Far more to the point though, it resonated with me and made me think about how my relationship to sex and my own sexuality has changed over my own decades. Your evolution acted as a sort of thread that allowed me to think about my own, and that’s entirely due to your writing. Your openness and generosity reached right out and held my hand, and that’s a quality that is distinctly yours.
The second one is Tightly Held Assumption, and I picked it for much the same reasons that My Decades resonated so much. Your reflections on your body image and long-held assumptions opened my eyes to my own. In a way, your willingness to examine the difference between your self-perception and you lover’s perception of you prompted me to question my own inability to accept a compliment, especially from the man who loves me. Once again, you invite the reader into a very personal place, and make that journey not just your own, but theirs too. It’s warm and honest and very brave. Vintage Honey.”
I’m definitely glowing now.
One of the joys of writing this post has been revisiting posts from the past and reliving the experiences. @BondageMacGyver took me right back and I am very grateful for the nudge to revisit Aftermath.
“Point the first, portrays the intimacy, care and connection of D/s so well. Point the second…
Oh my fucking gods that is as hot as all fuck. “
“I would like to choose this post because of your beautiful landscapes analogy. It fits life so perfectly, as things change along the way, people we have with us now might otherwise be here next year and that changes how we stand in life. We all change and life goes on.”
There are two posts left to mention. One was clearly a powerful one as it was chosen by several people.
“Because it is raw, emotional, honest and holds nothing back. The kind of post that can rabbit the reader and make them think.” @SilverDomUK
“Such an important blog for me. A searing honesty I could never achieve. Really moved me and inspired me. I started my blog a few days after.” @watchingdistant
“One of my favorite things about your posts is your honesty and frankness in working through your feelings about yourself. Sometimes you write in a way that allows me/us (I’m including the collective us/we because I can’t be the only one to feel this way) to see you learning about yourself as you write, and through that I/we learn too. Also, your sheer bravery in really putting yourself out there is so encouraging. You have several posts about mental health and body image and frustration with not liking yourself and just the stress of being a woman/lover/mother/student/
And the last words are for @19syllables because I promised I would only include this one if I married it with her other choice too.
“I choose two posts. Please only use my nominations if you use them together. ‘Hate’ and ‘Morning’.
‘Hate’ is a horrible post. So brutally turned-in on yourself that I can barely look at it straight-on, I find my face diagonal to my own screen, wanting to jump in to protect you from the cruel bully who berates and criticises you. But how can we protect you from you? This piece really helped me understand PMT and self-criticism with which you others wrestle in a way I hadn’t grasped before. I hesitate in putting it forward as a post I ‘like’ because I don’t like it, no, I don’t like it at all, but I think its searing eloquence and imagery is important and precisely the sort of topic that blogs are best positioned to broach.
I pair it with ‘Morning’, because this is how you really are, all soft skin and twinkle with a wry, contagious smile, and a wicked sense of humour. I don’t think the post ‘Hate’ has proper context without it.”
So here is Hate.
And here, in a beautiful way to finish this post and to sum up how wonderful blogging can be, is Morning.
Thank you to everyone who contributed – I hope that in the drama of my computer dying, I haven’t left anyone’s contributions out. I am humbled by your words and incredibly grateful. I’m also so grateful to everyone who reads my blog and those hours share and comment. I don’t know what the future will bring but I am very proud of these 300 posts.